Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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