I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
someone owes me an orgasm
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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