:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
