I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
