if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
