He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
