Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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