That's intense
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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