i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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