You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i think i have herpe
just one?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i came on her dog
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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