Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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