Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
