Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
