So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
