Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He did a backflip because drugs
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