butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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