i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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