I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
