is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
