well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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