Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
