I bet he comes in French.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
