Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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