im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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