Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize