What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
