I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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