How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
