Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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