Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
