I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
