he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
