they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize