Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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