My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
