yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My vagina is very pro this idea
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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