lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
