The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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