Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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