That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
