her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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