no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
