And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
