Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
