making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Don't EVER smell your tampon
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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