Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
