i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
