So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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