you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
