So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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