I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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