all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
