I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
