i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
