She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
