I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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