We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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