last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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