My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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