I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
