porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
