I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
