JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
