I'm jealous of your bromance
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
