Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just tell him i said nine months
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize