it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
