He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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