I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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