I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
