Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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