You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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